Tuesday, 7 August 2012

I thought I was being helpful

This started off as an email to Chris. He doesn't know what to get me for my birthday, and I don't know what I want.

I planned to help him out, so I googled "awesome birthday presents for the best girlfriend ever" (of course). The results were far too hilarious to keep to myself...the internet apparently thinks I'm an idiot.

These are probably the most uninspired, crappy presents ever. Especially that magnet that says "I love Bryan". Who the heck is Bryan?

I thought these might be good, but they are mostly just heart-shaped. I really don't want a chastity ring, either. That would be a SAD birthday.

These are quite terrible, and I'm not sure what a 'card with a casual tone' might be, but I doubt that I want one. I don't know how to celebrate casually.

Wow. This one's a shocker. In particular, if somebody gives me a 'weight loss gift', I will definitely punch them in the face. Even (especially) if you use the 'sensitive' example letter to explain your selection.

There may be some cultural difference causing issues here (the article is from India), but a second credit card on a man's account is a f*king horrible idea. Especially when I'm perfectly able to manage my *own* bank account. How rude.

Yep, I know it's the thought that counts. Which is why thought is IMPORTANT. Googling stuff is not the same as thinking about it.

Anyone ever got a horrible birthday present and wondered why? Or a particularly awesome birthday present that came as a big surprise? Share!


  1. 1. Why does that heart shaped watch have two dials on it?!?!
    2. That sensitive example letter nearly killed me. Especially the "We can return it if you don't like it right now". Oh, and the follow up of getting her a FREE SAMPLE OF WEIGHT LOSS PILLS.
    3. The entire list on that last site made me stabby.

    You should hold out for the "get a group of her girlfriends together" thing, because I could do with a trip to NZ!! ;)

    1. I can't comprehend any of these gifts, so I certainly can't enlighten you on number one. Yes, I especially loved that you could give her a *free* gift of weight loss pills as long as you paid for postage.

      The crazy thing was that this was an average sample of the lists. There really weren't any normal ones!

  2. I'm guessing the bryan one might be customizable? Just ask him for a toaster full of cash. Boom.

    1. Yeah, I assume that it's customisable... but it would be hilarious if it's not!

      A toaster full of cash is a grand idea :-D

  3. I assume it's a sign of how bad the lists were that two of them were blocked by my webmarshal ;)

    My dad can be a shocker with gifts. He's so hit-and-miss - sometimes it's exactly what I want, or even better than I could have imagined, and other times it misses by a country mile. For my 30th he got me a shapeless alpaca cape and matching beret. The positive thing is that they were very warm, but I'll leave you to guess whether it was a hit or a miss...

    1. Hahaha none of them were rude or anything, just REEEAAALLLY poorly considered.

      Yeah, some people are just not great at presents. Though they almost always mean well!


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