Really, I'd love to post about sewing or something. But I don't have enough extra mental capacity to do that today. It's been a week where I have learnt a lot, but attached to that is a huge amount of sadness and feelings of powerlessness.
As some of you know, the last few months have been my first as a manager. I LOVE the work that I'm doing, and feel like I'm really achieving something useful. One of the high points was running a quick training session for my colleagues that really brought some results!
This week has been a definite low point though. Sadly, my (only) employee has chosen to leave. I wanted so badly for it to work out, but for a variety of reasons it has not. I feel bad because I couldn't help more, or prevent the events that transpired. I really, really hope this person finds a job where they can fit in and flourish, because that is what everyone deserves.
This post doesn't really have a point. Just that managing people is difficult in ways I didn't anticipate, and that finding a work environment that you are comfortable with is WAY more important than what you are actually doing.
I suppose there is a kind of grief in things going so badly wrong at work, and I need to think about how it is affecting me (and whether it requires professional help). Like most people, I've had ups and downs at work in the 14 years since I took my first job. But this is the first time where I felt like I failed somebody else, and it's sad.
Anyway, I'm eternally grateful to my internet (and real world) friends for distracting me and keeping me sane, even if they don't know it! And I'm comforted by the many other people who have been my peers and colleagues here in NZ - despite them having no idea of what was going on, they inspire me and make me happy just by being the good people that they are.